How exhausting and depleting continuous verbal abuse is. Especially when it is delivered by someone you are very close to. Containing and managing such abuse is never simple. It is necessary to understand the roots of such lack of respect for engaging in reasonable conversation, no matter the age of the person. Verbal abuse as described is not acceptable even from a four-year-old let one a 14 or 17 or 70-year-old. It is helpful to have a conversation when tempers are not raging and frequently this can only happen if assisted by a third person and in another setting.
 
Defining the boundaries and expectations of adolescents within a family setting is always a challenge and a necessary exercise if the youth is going to be launched successfully into adulthood. The arrogance of adolescence is also frequently a mask for the underlying fear and profound sense of insecurity about  their competence to survive without family. Of course, being abusive is also a great way of avoiding difficult and painful topics. That is where a referee can be very helpful.

How do you deal with someone who is so abusive that you have difficulty living with them? My daughter has ADHD and ODD. I have a lot of problems dealing with her. I try to be patient, she heaps verbal abuse on me every morning. This morning she told me that I should die, that she does not need me, then asked me for bus tickets and her allowance. This would be funny if she was 14, but she is 17 years old and this has been going on since she's been 14. I actually refused to give her bus tickets this morning, as she repeatedly told me that she does not need me, but of course, now she's probably not going to school. So what is worse? I need a 10 foot thick skin - but I just don't have the strength for it any more.