I have met many parents that have watched their children struggle in day cares, in school, in the community. These parents feel afraid. They feel overwhelmed. They feel angry. They know that their children have wonderful parts to them, and strengths and gifts that make them unique and worthy. But when their behavior or their struggles set them apart, they are labeled, judged and made to feel inadequate and sometimes a failure. This is incredibly painful. I know this from working with parents and I know it because I am a parent of a child that has struggled.
 
My experience and my research has taught me that it is a lack of awareness and a lack of understanding about mental health and mental illness that causes adults that could help children and youth to judge them instead. But judging a child’s failure to conform leads to distress, it compounds the problems of these children and youth and it sets them on a path that leads to unhappiness and lack of success
 
I have spent the last 15 years working with parents and young people in the quest to shine a different light on these children and youth that don’t fit into that box. Some would call it anti-stigma work, I would call it throwing away the box!
 
There are some wonderful people out there that are pushing education systems, mental health systems, communities and individuals to take a strength-based approach to our young people. What if we were to assume that a child’s “failure” wasn’t something they did on purpose and that our job is not to judge but to discover how they need help and what they already do very well. If we see it as our responsibility to see that unique person as a person of potential, we open up the possibility that we can work to support them instead of blaming them.
 
Dr. Dick Meen at Kinark states that behavior is the language of children. Let’s listen to that language even if it is crude and disturbing. There’s a message in there and the message is “help.” The message is “I am a person that deserves a chance.” I love the idea of giving that chance by taking a chance on being open and not judging.
 
Let’s break down the stigma that our children and youth with mental health issues don’t fit into the box we created and realize that we can create a different and more welcoming shape that allows us to truly include and value our children and youth. Search this website or contact Kinark if you want more information on working with children and youth in constructive way. This is what truly breaks down stigma.